Okay, so here's the internal pondering that's gone one through all the travel and frustration of annual conference and celebrating that I did not move this year (never again, if it was up to me, but it's not).
I have applied for a Doctor of Ministry program at Drew University in New Jersey. This is something I have wanted to do since even before I graduated from Duke with my MDiv, but I haven't ever been in the right place to do it. Now I think I am. At least, I am out of excuses and so I've applied, too close to the deadline, and so with the possible exception of Eric's, all the recommendation letters and transcripts will be late.
This is a different program from the MDiv at Duke; it's not an "in residence" program, where I would move close to the school and live there. Instead, I will do some coursework online and spend some time (a few weeks here and there) at Drew. There's even a class offered in Wales which I'd love to take, but am pretty sure I can't afford financially or in terms of time. We'll have to see.
What I want to study should come as no surprise to anyone who's read my archive: how our distinctive United Methodist theology and heritage can speak to post-modern culture and create faith community. I think this will involve a critique of UM practice, at least in some contexts, and also some "experimentation" (with willing victims, I mean volunteers, of course). It will hopefully also offer a sort of conceptual roadmap to what our Church has to offer to the industrialized cultures of our world. It might be great, and it might be garbage, but at least I'm trying...now if I can just get in to the program!
Friday, June 29, 2007
A new Friday Five
The RevGalBlogPals site makes this a weekly feature...
todays Friday 5:
1. Personality tests; love them or hate them?
Oh, boy, do I hate 'em. I'm too mercurial, I think. And I don't like to be put in a box...I'm supposed to be complicated and mysterious, aren't I?
2. Would you describe yourself as practical, creative, intellectual or a mixture ?
Mixture...not as creative as I'd like, sometimes wildly romantic but generally pretty practical, and I wouldn't like to choose for myself the label intellectual but I can carry on a pretty impressive sounding conversation...
3. It is said that everyone has their 15 minutes of fame; have you had your yet? If so what was it, if not dream away what would you like it to be?
Haven't had it yet. Someday I want to write a book about something. It's the lack of focus that's holding me back. ;-)
4. If you were given a 2 year sabatical ( oh the dream of it) to create something would it be music, literature, art.....something completely different...share your dream with us...
Definitely art, of the artisan variety. I admire tremendously people who can create with their hands. I've never really tried (to be perfectly honest)--I can reproduce what I've seen others do, but creating something that I think up myself may be beyond me. I'd like to try, though.
5. Describe a talent you would like to develop, but that seems completely beyond you.
See my answer to #4. And I'd love to play an instrument. I've tried several and done very poorly, so I don't think that's my best thing.
Bonus question: Back to the church- what does every member ministry mean to you? Is it truly possible to encourage/ implement?
Yes, I think it is possible...I think when we can understand ourselves as all having both tremendous value and fatal flaws, and see each other with a kind of God-vision that sees beauty in/in spite of our imperfections, then perhaps we can offer what we have and appreciate what each has to offer. This may well be one of my wildly romantic moments, but I do think it's possible to value everyone's gifts and share them to the glory of God. What that looks like, I've no clue...chaos or a commune or maybe a church that worships, serves, loves and gives with its whole heart. I think it also looks like fun!
todays Friday 5:
1. Personality tests; love them or hate them?
Oh, boy, do I hate 'em. I'm too mercurial, I think. And I don't like to be put in a box...I'm supposed to be complicated and mysterious, aren't I?
2. Would you describe yourself as practical, creative, intellectual or a mixture ?
Mixture...not as creative as I'd like, sometimes wildly romantic but generally pretty practical, and I wouldn't like to choose for myself the label intellectual but I can carry on a pretty impressive sounding conversation...
3. It is said that everyone has their 15 minutes of fame; have you had your yet? If so what was it, if not dream away what would you like it to be?
Haven't had it yet. Someday I want to write a book about something. It's the lack of focus that's holding me back. ;-)
4. If you were given a 2 year sabatical ( oh the dream of it) to create something would it be music, literature, art.....something completely different...share your dream with us...
Definitely art, of the artisan variety. I admire tremendously people who can create with their hands. I've never really tried (to be perfectly honest)--I can reproduce what I've seen others do, but creating something that I think up myself may be beyond me. I'd like to try, though.
5. Describe a talent you would like to develop, but that seems completely beyond you.
See my answer to #4. And I'd love to play an instrument. I've tried several and done very poorly, so I don't think that's my best thing.
Bonus question: Back to the church- what does every member ministry mean to you? Is it truly possible to encourage/ implement?
Yes, I think it is possible...I think when we can understand ourselves as all having both tremendous value and fatal flaws, and see each other with a kind of God-vision that sees beauty in/in spite of our imperfections, then perhaps we can offer what we have and appreciate what each has to offer. This may well be one of my wildly romantic moments, but I do think it's possible to value everyone's gifts and share them to the glory of God. What that looks like, I've no clue...chaos or a commune or maybe a church that worships, serves, loves and gives with its whole heart. I think it also looks like fun!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Slow week
I'm out of town again, this time for my cousin's wedding. Jamie the beauteous is the flower girl, and we're all curious to see how that works out. She did not sleep well last night, so it remains to be seen how she'll do tonight.
I helped with the rehearsal last night because the officiant was unable to be there (long story). The wedding coordinator was deeply annoying, mostly because I think that they should always defer to the officiant, and she didn't. But I hung around with the groom, who I'd not met before, and the other guys, and it was all right.
Tonight's Jeanne's big night. It will be beautiful; they've chosen to have it in a lovely place, but the ceremony proper feels a bit discordant to me because it's not at all a Christian ceremony, which is what I'm the most familiar with. I'm the designated Jamie wrangler, to the extent that she needs one, so that will be fun for me no matter what.
I helped with the rehearsal last night because the officiant was unable to be there (long story). The wedding coordinator was deeply annoying, mostly because I think that they should always defer to the officiant, and she didn't. But I hung around with the groom, who I'd not met before, and the other guys, and it was all right.
Tonight's Jeanne's big night. It will be beautiful; they've chosen to have it in a lovely place, but the ceremony proper feels a bit discordant to me because it's not at all a Christian ceremony, which is what I'm the most familiar with. I'm the designated Jamie wrangler, to the extent that she needs one, so that will be fun for me no matter what.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Newsletter article for this week
“Everybody talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it.”
--Mark Twain
According to the weather forecasters, summer temperatures will arrive this week, actually arriving a day or three ahead of summer itself, which starts on June 21. This year I’m facing summer with a little better grace than before because I’ve got a new air conditioner. The old one had the good grace to break down during a pretty temperate week, which was a gift, given that it took a week and a half to get the new one in and running.
I have mixed feelings about summer. It’s hot and humid, which I don’t tolerate all that well. The heat causes my dog to dig in the flowerbeds, looking for a cool spot, also not my favorite thing. But I also love so much about summer: fresh homegrown tomatoes and corn, watermelon and long sunshiny days, cucumber salad with onions and vinegar, sitting in the shade, watching lazy bumblebees trundle from flower to flower on the wild roses.
Summer weather brings its own challenges, too. I love a summer storm; they blow up and over so quickly, but they give me a great light show and knock some of the humidity out of the air for a minute or two. Of course, I don’t ever want these storms to be destructive…and thunder scares the dog. Harker’s Islanders know that even these fast moving squalls can create big problems.
As we watch the weather, and talk about it, let us remember who is with us all the days of our lives, in fair weather and foul. We are always accompanied by the presence of our loving God, who rejoices with us in bright sunny days, and I’m convinced hangs out with the dog under the bed when it seems the skies are splitting open with thunderclaps. I know God is with me when I ride over to the beach and watch the storm-tossed waves, and with all the beach-goers basking in the sun. And should a storm blow up in my life that doesn’t affect the weather, I know God is there with me, too.
Anne
--Mark Twain
According to the weather forecasters, summer temperatures will arrive this week, actually arriving a day or three ahead of summer itself, which starts on June 21. This year I’m facing summer with a little better grace than before because I’ve got a new air conditioner. The old one had the good grace to break down during a pretty temperate week, which was a gift, given that it took a week and a half to get the new one in and running.
I have mixed feelings about summer. It’s hot and humid, which I don’t tolerate all that well. The heat causes my dog to dig in the flowerbeds, looking for a cool spot, also not my favorite thing. But I also love so much about summer: fresh homegrown tomatoes and corn, watermelon and long sunshiny days, cucumber salad with onions and vinegar, sitting in the shade, watching lazy bumblebees trundle from flower to flower on the wild roses.
Summer weather brings its own challenges, too. I love a summer storm; they blow up and over so quickly, but they give me a great light show and knock some of the humidity out of the air for a minute or two. Of course, I don’t ever want these storms to be destructive…and thunder scares the dog. Harker’s Islanders know that even these fast moving squalls can create big problems.
As we watch the weather, and talk about it, let us remember who is with us all the days of our lives, in fair weather and foul. We are always accompanied by the presence of our loving God, who rejoices with us in bright sunny days, and I’m convinced hangs out with the dog under the bed when it seems the skies are splitting open with thunderclaps. I know God is with me when I ride over to the beach and watch the storm-tossed waves, and with all the beach-goers basking in the sun. And should a storm blow up in my life that doesn’t affect the weather, I know God is there with me, too.
Anne
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Deep breathing exercises
Again, this has been a tedious conference...and here it is almost 2 pm and the annual conference that usually ends about lunchtime is still plowing along.
Last night we dealt with a bunch of resolutions and settled them and we're still electing clergy delegates to jurisdictional conference.
We've just set next year's conference for June 18-21.
I do like having an internet connection...next year I need to sit closer to an outlet.
It's been a frustrating year because our Clergy Counseling and Consultation Service budget was cut. This service provides counseling to clergy and clergy families, and I can see where we might want to ask clergy to make co-payments to help cover the expense, although I can easily see where that could be cost-prohibitive and create a disincentive for clergy and their families to seek help. The greater issue for me is that the service also provides consultation services to clergy, so that if we have a question or a problem that is beyond our ability to handle or our knowledge base (an issue facing the congregation or an individual or family) we can ask the director of the service.
I've used the service on behalf of others, and on my own behalf, several times. In the past year, I've probably used 5-6 hours, at least of the director's time, all on the phone. I'm not sure how the CCCS could bill for that, and I don't believe it's fair to ask the members or congregations to pay...or to ask me to pay. And we've got to figure out how to handle this, or at least the CF&A does.
(late update (now that I've charged the battery))
Conference went until 5 pm...we've made the CCCS office expense an Advance special, meaning we can raise money for it through the conference.
I'm tired.
Very tired.
Going to bed now.
Last night we dealt with a bunch of resolutions and settled them and we're still electing clergy delegates to jurisdictional conference.
We've just set next year's conference for June 18-21.
I do like having an internet connection...next year I need to sit closer to an outlet.
It's been a frustrating year because our Clergy Counseling and Consultation Service budget was cut. This service provides counseling to clergy and clergy families, and I can see where we might want to ask clergy to make co-payments to help cover the expense, although I can easily see where that could be cost-prohibitive and create a disincentive for clergy and their families to seek help. The greater issue for me is that the service also provides consultation services to clergy, so that if we have a question or a problem that is beyond our ability to handle or our knowledge base (an issue facing the congregation or an individual or family) we can ask the director of the service.
I've used the service on behalf of others, and on my own behalf, several times. In the past year, I've probably used 5-6 hours, at least of the director's time, all on the phone. I'm not sure how the CCCS could bill for that, and I don't believe it's fair to ask the members or congregations to pay...or to ask me to pay. And we've got to figure out how to handle this, or at least the CF&A does.
(late update (now that I've charged the battery))
Conference went until 5 pm...we've made the CCCS office expense an Advance special, meaning we can raise money for it through the conference.
I'm tired.
Very tired.
Going to bed now.
RevGalBlogPals Friday 5
This one is made for me:
1. Fiction what kind, detective novels, historical stuff, thrillers, romance????
Near 'bout anything but I love thrillers and science fiction, and stories about vampires...
2. When you get a really good book do you read it all in one chunk or savour it slowly?
All in one chunk, if I can find the time. And then I have a second reading to look forward to down the line...
3. Is there a book you keep returning to and why?
Although it may be a cliche, I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy every few years, along with the Chronicles of Narnia. I also love To Kill a Mockingbird.
4. Apart from the Bible which non-fiction book has influenced you the most?
Usually whichever I read most recently...A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren has certainly taken up a disproportionate number of brain cells lately. Also Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline
5. Describe a perfect place to read. ( could be anywhere!!!)
Curled up in the corner of a couch or comfy chair with a cat in my lap and a cup of coffee close at hand...
1. Fiction what kind, detective novels, historical stuff, thrillers, romance????
Near 'bout anything but I love thrillers and science fiction, and stories about vampires...
2. When you get a really good book do you read it all in one chunk or savour it slowly?
All in one chunk, if I can find the time. And then I have a second reading to look forward to down the line...
3. Is there a book you keep returning to and why?
Although it may be a cliche, I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy every few years, along with the Chronicles of Narnia. I also love To Kill a Mockingbird.
4. Apart from the Bible which non-fiction book has influenced you the most?
Usually whichever I read most recently...A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren has certainly taken up a disproportionate number of brain cells lately. Also Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline
5. Describe a perfect place to read. ( could be anywhere!!!)
Curled up in the corner of a couch or comfy chair with a cat in my lap and a cup of coffee close at hand...
Friday, June 15, 2007
Wondermutt update
According to the vet, the hound is fine, eating, sleeping, and doing the other things dogs do.
No telling what he ate outside; he had managed to get his days and nights confused. Saturday (well, technically Sunday) at 1:30 in the morning he had to go out and he never got back in a normal rhythm after that. Maybe when we get home things will make more sense.
No telling what he ate outside; he had managed to get his days and nights confused. Saturday (well, technically Sunday) at 1:30 in the morning he had to go out and he never got back in a normal rhythm after that. Maybe when we get home things will make more sense.
Here at Annual Conference
Okay, this is me trying to be gentle and to not jeopardize my job or come to the attention of the conference leadership in a negative way.
I have almost nothing to say.
I've had very limited success with getting online; the wireless network here at the Greenville Convention Center isn't for some reason compatible with my HP laptop. BUT, because I am not above a little good-natured manipulation of some of the wonderful conference staff, I have managed an end-run around it which allows me to get online...now I just need for my battery to last...
For now, I'll just say that the whole thing has been an exercise in frustration....
I have almost nothing to say.
I've had very limited success with getting online; the wireless network here at the Greenville Convention Center isn't for some reason compatible with my HP laptop. BUT, because I am not above a little good-natured manipulation of some of the wonderful conference staff, I have managed an end-run around it which allows me to get online...now I just need for my battery to last...
For now, I'll just say that the whole thing has been an exercise in frustration....
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Sick puppy
The wondermutt was not feeling well last night.
He came in the house going ninety to nothin' (fast, for people who don't speak Alabaman...I'm bilingual) and ran straight for the bed. I was flattered as this put me in the hierarchy above the "cookie" he gets when he comes in...at least I was flattered until he threw up all over my bed. Multiple times.
I mentioned to Ben that perhaps we'd sleep better if the big dog spent the night in the bathroom, on the nice, cool, easy to clean vinyl floor, but that just wouldn't do. Ben said, "I don't want him to feel bad all by himself. It might make him sad. I'll feel better if he stays in the bed with us." So stay he did, but today he's at the vet, and apparently doing fine (yes, I checked).
We're trying to get ready for Annual Conference, which means laundry and packing and trying to be sure the house is fit to leave, no small task given that since I hurt my back, I haven't done a whole lot in the way of cleaning. But everyday things get a little better, and I'm able to do a little more. A night like last night, where we generated vast quantities of dirty towels and bedclothes in a hurry, really puts the brakes on our progress. But the comforter is at the cleaners', and I can do more laundry tonight, and we're getting there. I'm just tired, here lately, a lot to process and to do...I'm looking at Doctor of Ministry programs, and there's Annual Conference to contend with, and summer brings its own busy-ness, belied by the reduced meeting schedule...but I'm still having fun.
Someone asked me Sunday if the fact that I have preached 2 out of the last 3 Sundays is a sign that they should be worried about Moving Day. I appreciate the sentiment, but I think we're safe for now...we have worked hard at letting the DS know that we are very happy where we are, and that there should be no moves in Beaufort or at First in MHC. They are free to surprise us, but truthfully, we've emphasized the churches' need for stability, and maybe that will have as much or more weight than our own desires.
Don't know if I'll post from conference or not...we're supposed to be wireless, but I don't know how much bandwidth we'll have. Guess we'll see what happens!
He came in the house going ninety to nothin' (fast, for people who don't speak Alabaman...I'm bilingual) and ran straight for the bed. I was flattered as this put me in the hierarchy above the "cookie" he gets when he comes in...at least I was flattered until he threw up all over my bed. Multiple times.
I mentioned to Ben that perhaps we'd sleep better if the big dog spent the night in the bathroom, on the nice, cool, easy to clean vinyl floor, but that just wouldn't do. Ben said, "I don't want him to feel bad all by himself. It might make him sad. I'll feel better if he stays in the bed with us." So stay he did, but today he's at the vet, and apparently doing fine (yes, I checked).
We're trying to get ready for Annual Conference, which means laundry and packing and trying to be sure the house is fit to leave, no small task given that since I hurt my back, I haven't done a whole lot in the way of cleaning. But everyday things get a little better, and I'm able to do a little more. A night like last night, where we generated vast quantities of dirty towels and bedclothes in a hurry, really puts the brakes on our progress. But the comforter is at the cleaners', and I can do more laundry tonight, and we're getting there. I'm just tired, here lately, a lot to process and to do...I'm looking at Doctor of Ministry programs, and there's Annual Conference to contend with, and summer brings its own busy-ness, belied by the reduced meeting schedule...but I'm still having fun.
Someone asked me Sunday if the fact that I have preached 2 out of the last 3 Sundays is a sign that they should be worried about Moving Day. I appreciate the sentiment, but I think we're safe for now...we have worked hard at letting the DS know that we are very happy where we are, and that there should be no moves in Beaufort or at First in MHC. They are free to surprise us, but truthfully, we've emphasized the churches' need for stability, and maybe that will have as much or more weight than our own desires.
Don't know if I'll post from conference or not...we're supposed to be wireless, but I don't know how much bandwidth we'll have. Guess we'll see what happens!
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Newsletter 06/10/07
"I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.”
--Henry Emerson Fosdick
One of the characteristics of God that I find most comforting is the mystery…the knowledge that as long as I live, as spiritually mature as I manage to get (and I’m a long way off yet), as much studying and praying and worshiping as I’ll ever do, I’ll never know everything there is to know about God. God’s just bigger than anything I could ever imagine, far beyond the reach of human understanding and creativity.
You’d think the mysterious nature of God would make me feel small or anxious, that it would be easier to feel that I understood how God operates in the world, that God was predicable…and that’s the problem. It’s easier for us to wrap our minds around a God who likes who and what we like, who behaves in ways we can always anticipate and understand, who never surprises us…but what kind of God would that be?
When we take away all the mystery, we’ve lost sight of who God is, and replaced our God with a god in our own image. When we delude ourselves in to thinking that God will always behave in a way that makes sense to us, that we can predict, we’ve made God too small.
I don’t believe that God is fickle or capricious…but I find it comfortable and comforting to think that God is bigger than my understanding, my weakness, and my imagination. I like that I don’t know all there is to know, that there’s still more to learn about God…there’s still room to grow closer.
Anne
--Henry Emerson Fosdick
One of the characteristics of God that I find most comforting is the mystery…the knowledge that as long as I live, as spiritually mature as I manage to get (and I’m a long way off yet), as much studying and praying and worshiping as I’ll ever do, I’ll never know everything there is to know about God. God’s just bigger than anything I could ever imagine, far beyond the reach of human understanding and creativity.
You’d think the mysterious nature of God would make me feel small or anxious, that it would be easier to feel that I understood how God operates in the world, that God was predicable…and that’s the problem. It’s easier for us to wrap our minds around a God who likes who and what we like, who behaves in ways we can always anticipate and understand, who never surprises us…but what kind of God would that be?
When we take away all the mystery, we’ve lost sight of who God is, and replaced our God with a god in our own image. When we delude ourselves in to thinking that God will always behave in a way that makes sense to us, that we can predict, we’ve made God too small.
I don’t believe that God is fickle or capricious…but I find it comfortable and comforting to think that God is bigger than my understanding, my weakness, and my imagination. I like that I don’t know all there is to know, that there’s still more to learn about God…there’s still room to grow closer.
Anne
June 10 Sermon "It Was Just a Little Bread"
It was just a little bit of bread.
There wasn’t much substance to it at all. Some flour, a little oil to hold it together…it wasn’t even very good bread. But it was all she had, and all she had to offer. She meant it for herself and her son, for a last meal there in the land of Baal-worshippers. She meant for them to eat it, and once it was gone, they would starve, this poor widow and her young son who had no one else to care for them, in the midst of a drought when they could not feed themselves.
And then along came a man…a prophet of Yahweh, of another God than the gods of her neighbors and countrymen. He was a stranger in that land, a foreigner, and had no right to ask for anything at all, and if he’d had good sense, would never have asked anything of this poor widow who was so clearly destitute. But he did ask…and what did he ask for? Water first, which was simple enough. But then he did it…he asked for bread. The only thing she had to give…the last thing she had left.
It was only a little bread Elijah wanted. But it was all she had left…for herself, for her son, for their lives. And Elijah wanted it all, he said, go ahead, bake the bread, give me some…it’s only a little bit of bread.
She saw something in this man of God…heard something in his voice, perhaps, had a little intuition that in the presence of this ordinary man, something extraordinary was about to happen. Somehow she believed his words: “Do not be afraid…you and your son will have enough to last until things get better.”
So she took her little bit of flour and mixed it with oil and lay it by the fire to bake. With this strange man in her house…strange in more ways than one, this God-touched fellow…she watched it rise, and brown, and lifted it to the table to cool, and finally they ate.
It was only a little bread, but how it must have tasted like ashes and turned to glue in her mouth as she watched Elijah eat bread taken away from her, from her son…the last of the last she had. Even though something had compelled her to believe Elijah’s words and the promise of a God she did not know, still she must have watched with fear, and maybe a little resentment as the last crumbs vanished…and probably not much hope.
But the next day came, and maybe just out of habit she went to the flour jar and checked it, and found enough to bake again. She went to the oil jug and found enough there, and so they ate again. And in that smell of baking bread, this nameless widow and her son found hope, and wholeness, and the holiness of God. In that meal, and for many days to come, they found life in the bread baked of flour and oil that God provided.
It was just a little bread, but on something so simple, so insignificant, life and hope were sustained. Well, it might have been as simple and insignificant as bread, if we didn’t know Who else was involved…and that means that something as simple as oil and flour, as bread or wine or water, becomes something else entirely in the presence of God. That is what United Methodists call a sacrament: a moment with God in which something ordinary is transformed by the power and presence of God into something extraordinary. As flour and oil became bread day after day in that widow’s home, bread became life as her family was sustained during a time of drought and famine. It wasn’t just a little bread at all…it was the bread of life in that little home, it was the love and grace of God in a time of fear and loneliness, it was the presence of God to a woman and boy who thought their lives were empty and lost.
It’s starting not to look so much like a little bread, isn’t it?
We want our lives to be simple…to be look at conflict and fear in our lives and in our world and to be able to say some little something that will make them manageable, understandable…to feel like we know what’s going on and how to act and what to think and feel. Then something comes along: a tragedy in our lives, loss, pain…emotional and spiritual drought that leaves us looking at out lives and wondering how something we thought was simple got so complicated, how we managed to lose our way. We realize again that the “real world” is out there, and it’s tough, and while we have Heaven to look forward to, in the meantime, here-and-now is where we live. And sometimes here-and-now turns out not to be so great.
It’s in these not-so-great moments that something like just a little bread turns out to be so much more…can show us the love and presence and mercy of God in the middle of whatever we’re going through. Elijah asked a great deal of that widow and her son: a share in all they had left. But he also offered a great deal: bread to sustain and save their lives, hope and faith to sustain and save their spirits, the grace of God to two people who thought they’d been forgotten. Where do we find bread in our lives when we need it? Where do we find it when we don’t need it for ourselves, but to offer to others? How do we share bread, life, with those in need?
On the altar before us are simple gifts, presented to God and to us for the strengthening of our lives, faith, and ministry. There are multiple offerings on the table today: our weekly offering, a gift from us in recognition of all God’s many gifts to us, a part of our participation in the work of God in this community through this congregation called Ann Street. But that’s not all that’s on the table today. Today there’s a white cloth, and under it a cup, a pitcher, and a plate, an offering of a simple meal, of bread and what we call wine, (although we know it to be of the unfermented, “Welch’s” type variety). What does it mean? What good can this meal do us? After all, it’s just a little bread…very little, in fact. How can this snack we call a feast change us, and change others?
Here’s where that sacrament stuff comes in again. It is just a little bread, apart from the presence of God in Jesus Christ. We don’t have to understand how he’s present in this simple little meal; it’s enough for us to know that he is…and that we are called to share it among ourselves and with others. We don’t have to know exactly how it is that this bread, which looks for all the world like a loaf of homemade sourdough bread from the kitchen of a very generous church member, turns out to be what Jesus called “the bread of life,” but God calls us to know that this meal, this little bit of bread, is somehow life, and hope, and grace to us. Another meaning to “sacrament” is mystery, and it is indeed a mystery to us how so much meaning and so many gifts could come to us in something so simple as bread, and that’s all right. It is a mystery, too, how the widow of Zarepath’s jar of flour and jug of oil always had just enough…but we know too the answer to the mystery: it is God, reaching out through ordinary things to make our lives extraordinary.
So here we come, like that widow, with areas of drought and dryness in our own lives, and living in a world full of people who are dying for just a little bread. Here we come to this table, to this meal, to this cup and place, this bread and wine. Here we come, and some part of us, deep in our hearts, should know that after this meal we are about to share together, nothing will ever be quite the same again.
You see, I don’t really believe that after the drought and famine were over, that widow and her son just went about their lives like nothing had changed. They had had an encounter with God through Elijah that restored life to them when they thought it was lost, and had gained more than just flour and oil and the ability to make bread. In those days when the widow housed Elijah, something terrible happened: her son died. Rather than chasing off after the gods of her neighbors, she turned to Elijah, who had shown her the true God, and this time, she demanded life…and her son was restored to her.
It looked like just a little bread. It was made in the same way as it had been made for generations: a little flour and a little oil, baked on a stone heated in the fire, just enough to sustain life. It should have been just a little bread: nothing more than nutrition to survive one more day, until it was gone. That first meal she shared with Elijah should have been the last, except that something amazing and unexpected happened: God showed up, and the bread suddenly became something more, and for that widow, nothing was ever the same again.
So here we come, to this symbolic meal, to this small feast, to this time at the altar with just a little bread. Or is it? As we pray and as we eat, Jesus Christ is made known to us in ways we don’t and can’t understand. It is a mystery…and one we share with Christians the world over and throughout time. It’s time for something extraordinary to take place here in ordinary bread and wine, in ordinary men and women. An end to drought and famine in our lives, new life, a renewed spirit…it’s amazing what God can do with just a little bread.
There wasn’t much substance to it at all. Some flour, a little oil to hold it together…it wasn’t even very good bread. But it was all she had, and all she had to offer. She meant it for herself and her son, for a last meal there in the land of Baal-worshippers. She meant for them to eat it, and once it was gone, they would starve, this poor widow and her young son who had no one else to care for them, in the midst of a drought when they could not feed themselves.
And then along came a man…a prophet of Yahweh, of another God than the gods of her neighbors and countrymen. He was a stranger in that land, a foreigner, and had no right to ask for anything at all, and if he’d had good sense, would never have asked anything of this poor widow who was so clearly destitute. But he did ask…and what did he ask for? Water first, which was simple enough. But then he did it…he asked for bread. The only thing she had to give…the last thing she had left.
It was only a little bread Elijah wanted. But it was all she had left…for herself, for her son, for their lives. And Elijah wanted it all, he said, go ahead, bake the bread, give me some…it’s only a little bit of bread.
She saw something in this man of God…heard something in his voice, perhaps, had a little intuition that in the presence of this ordinary man, something extraordinary was about to happen. Somehow she believed his words: “Do not be afraid…you and your son will have enough to last until things get better.”
So she took her little bit of flour and mixed it with oil and lay it by the fire to bake. With this strange man in her house…strange in more ways than one, this God-touched fellow…she watched it rise, and brown, and lifted it to the table to cool, and finally they ate.
It was only a little bread, but how it must have tasted like ashes and turned to glue in her mouth as she watched Elijah eat bread taken away from her, from her son…the last of the last she had. Even though something had compelled her to believe Elijah’s words and the promise of a God she did not know, still she must have watched with fear, and maybe a little resentment as the last crumbs vanished…and probably not much hope.
But the next day came, and maybe just out of habit she went to the flour jar and checked it, and found enough to bake again. She went to the oil jug and found enough there, and so they ate again. And in that smell of baking bread, this nameless widow and her son found hope, and wholeness, and the holiness of God. In that meal, and for many days to come, they found life in the bread baked of flour and oil that God provided.
It was just a little bread, but on something so simple, so insignificant, life and hope were sustained. Well, it might have been as simple and insignificant as bread, if we didn’t know Who else was involved…and that means that something as simple as oil and flour, as bread or wine or water, becomes something else entirely in the presence of God. That is what United Methodists call a sacrament: a moment with God in which something ordinary is transformed by the power and presence of God into something extraordinary. As flour and oil became bread day after day in that widow’s home, bread became life as her family was sustained during a time of drought and famine. It wasn’t just a little bread at all…it was the bread of life in that little home, it was the love and grace of God in a time of fear and loneliness, it was the presence of God to a woman and boy who thought their lives were empty and lost.
It’s starting not to look so much like a little bread, isn’t it?
We want our lives to be simple…to be look at conflict and fear in our lives and in our world and to be able to say some little something that will make them manageable, understandable…to feel like we know what’s going on and how to act and what to think and feel. Then something comes along: a tragedy in our lives, loss, pain…emotional and spiritual drought that leaves us looking at out lives and wondering how something we thought was simple got so complicated, how we managed to lose our way. We realize again that the “real world” is out there, and it’s tough, and while we have Heaven to look forward to, in the meantime, here-and-now is where we live. And sometimes here-and-now turns out not to be so great.
It’s in these not-so-great moments that something like just a little bread turns out to be so much more…can show us the love and presence and mercy of God in the middle of whatever we’re going through. Elijah asked a great deal of that widow and her son: a share in all they had left. But he also offered a great deal: bread to sustain and save their lives, hope and faith to sustain and save their spirits, the grace of God to two people who thought they’d been forgotten. Where do we find bread in our lives when we need it? Where do we find it when we don’t need it for ourselves, but to offer to others? How do we share bread, life, with those in need?
On the altar before us are simple gifts, presented to God and to us for the strengthening of our lives, faith, and ministry. There are multiple offerings on the table today: our weekly offering, a gift from us in recognition of all God’s many gifts to us, a part of our participation in the work of God in this community through this congregation called Ann Street. But that’s not all that’s on the table today. Today there’s a white cloth, and under it a cup, a pitcher, and a plate, an offering of a simple meal, of bread and what we call wine, (although we know it to be of the unfermented, “Welch’s” type variety). What does it mean? What good can this meal do us? After all, it’s just a little bread…very little, in fact. How can this snack we call a feast change us, and change others?
Here’s where that sacrament stuff comes in again. It is just a little bread, apart from the presence of God in Jesus Christ. We don’t have to understand how he’s present in this simple little meal; it’s enough for us to know that he is…and that we are called to share it among ourselves and with others. We don’t have to know exactly how it is that this bread, which looks for all the world like a loaf of homemade sourdough bread from the kitchen of a very generous church member, turns out to be what Jesus called “the bread of life,” but God calls us to know that this meal, this little bit of bread, is somehow life, and hope, and grace to us. Another meaning to “sacrament” is mystery, and it is indeed a mystery to us how so much meaning and so many gifts could come to us in something so simple as bread, and that’s all right. It is a mystery, too, how the widow of Zarepath’s jar of flour and jug of oil always had just enough…but we know too the answer to the mystery: it is God, reaching out through ordinary things to make our lives extraordinary.
So here we come, like that widow, with areas of drought and dryness in our own lives, and living in a world full of people who are dying for just a little bread. Here we come to this table, to this meal, to this cup and place, this bread and wine. Here we come, and some part of us, deep in our hearts, should know that after this meal we are about to share together, nothing will ever be quite the same again.
You see, I don’t really believe that after the drought and famine were over, that widow and her son just went about their lives like nothing had changed. They had had an encounter with God through Elijah that restored life to them when they thought it was lost, and had gained more than just flour and oil and the ability to make bread. In those days when the widow housed Elijah, something terrible happened: her son died. Rather than chasing off after the gods of her neighbors, she turned to Elijah, who had shown her the true God, and this time, she demanded life…and her son was restored to her.
It looked like just a little bread. It was made in the same way as it had been made for generations: a little flour and a little oil, baked on a stone heated in the fire, just enough to sustain life. It should have been just a little bread: nothing more than nutrition to survive one more day, until it was gone. That first meal she shared with Elijah should have been the last, except that something amazing and unexpected happened: God showed up, and the bread suddenly became something more, and for that widow, nothing was ever the same again.
So here we come, to this symbolic meal, to this small feast, to this time at the altar with just a little bread. Or is it? As we pray and as we eat, Jesus Christ is made known to us in ways we don’t and can’t understand. It is a mystery…and one we share with Christians the world over and throughout time. It’s time for something extraordinary to take place here in ordinary bread and wine, in ordinary men and women. An end to drought and famine in our lives, new life, a renewed spirit…it’s amazing what God can do with just a little bread.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Must be growing up a little...
I tend to procrastinate, a lot. I think I've mentioned this before; I generally work better when I do all the conceptual work (for example, research for a sermon) in advance, and then leave the more concrete work (like writing it) until closer to my deadline. This has been a good system for me in the past, but today something strange happened. I went into the office this afternoon to write my sermon, having been thinking about it all week. And something strange happened...I finished it hours early. I was home by 4.
I'll post it tomorrow. Sometime tomorrow I've also got to find time to get my new Jamie pictures developed...she's walking, and talking (some), and loves playing in the pool.
I'll post it tomorrow. Sometime tomorrow I've also got to find time to get my new Jamie pictures developed...she's walking, and talking (some), and loves playing in the pool.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
20 Tons of Peanuts Later
Jericho fans did it...the online community CBS helped form has convinced the network to renew the show...on a limited basis, and with the caveat that viewership has to increase. Now you know and I know that's sort of a catch-22. Now the networks can blame the fans if they cancel it later on, but hey, I still think it's fun. Read the news here, check out the NutsOnline page here.
What I'm going to do for entertainment now, I've no clue...Jericho reruns, maybe. Annual Conference is next week, so there's that to look forward to. Meanwhile, I'm on the Outer Banks again with the incomparable Jamie. I may lay off this blog for a day or two, or I may not, but rest I definitely shall!
What I'm going to do for entertainment now, I've no clue...Jericho reruns, maybe. Annual Conference is next week, so there's that to look forward to. Meanwhile, I'm on the Outer Banks again with the incomparable Jamie. I may lay off this blog for a day or two, or I may not, but rest I definitely shall!
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Nice, nice men
The very nice men came to my house today and installed the new AC. It will be cool when I get home!
It's actually been okay except for last night it finally got hot enough that we were miserable...and this morning was not fun. But tonight Ben says he wants to turn it down to 60 and sleep with lots of covers.
I'm seriously considering it.
It's actually been okay except for last night it finally got hot enough that we were miserable...and this morning was not fun. But tonight Ben says he wants to turn it down to 60 and sleep with lots of covers.
I'm seriously considering it.
Monday, June 4, 2007
A few words about grace
Here's grace in my life today (and this is not an exhastive list, by any means):
The nice lady at the rental office offered to check on Ben's cat while we're gone to see family this week, to make sure the new AC unit is working properly.
The nice lady at the AC repair company said that the new unit will be installed tomorrow...a day ahead of schedule.
I visited someone who'd been in the hospital for days before I found out, and her response was simply, "I'm so glad to see you!"
Eric offered to preach for me Sunday night, so I wouldn't have worry about it while I'm with my family.
Ben offered to do chores so that I could work on an magazine article I'm writing.
The director of the D. Min. program at Drew called me today to see if he could answer any questions and help me decide if his program is the right one for me.
It may have been hot today, but at least it's breezy...so maybe we'll sleep okay this last night without air conditioning.
The nice lady at the rental office offered to check on Ben's cat while we're gone to see family this week, to make sure the new AC unit is working properly.
The nice lady at the AC repair company said that the new unit will be installed tomorrow...a day ahead of schedule.
I visited someone who'd been in the hospital for days before I found out, and her response was simply, "I'm so glad to see you!"
Eric offered to preach for me Sunday night, so I wouldn't have worry about it while I'm with my family.
Ben offered to do chores so that I could work on an magazine article I'm writing.
The director of the D. Min. program at Drew called me today to see if he could answer any questions and help me decide if his program is the right one for me.
It may have been hot today, but at least it's breezy...so maybe we'll sleep okay this last night without air conditioning.
Newsletter article...on change and growth
Ponderous Thoughts
“Every one, though born of God in an instant, yet undoubtedly grows by slow degrees.”
--John Wesley
This time of year, it seems like we are surrounded by milestones to celebrate. One more year of school is coming to an end—they’re growing up so fast. Yes, I know, it’s trite but it’s true. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day remind us to celebrate with new moms and dads, even as we remember the ones we won’t see this year. One more summer means, in Beaufort, one more hurricane season…remembering past storms while hoping for the best for us this year. And it’s time for Annual Conference, a United Methodist milestone. Eric and I have an anniversary of sorts coming up in a few weeks…one terrific year here at Ann Street, and many more to come, God and the bishop willing.
Life does seem to just go right on…and then we remember the Old Homes Tour, and how we also celebrate our heritage in these milestones. As we get older, our roots grow deeper…by slow degrees, we grow, as children and parents, as Christians, as people.
As the milestones pass so quickly, it’s important for us to remember that the changes that seem to come so fast are necessary for growth…just like a careful pruning encourages a tree to grow, the changes that go on around us encourage us to grow in our faith and in love for God and one another. So let us try to see these milestones and changes as chances: chances to grow closer to Christ and one another…by slow degrees, becoming the people God has called us to be.
Life is unpredictable, change is inevitable, and growth is optional. Let’s choose to grow in the direction of grace!
Anne
“Every one, though born of God in an instant, yet undoubtedly grows by slow degrees.”
--John Wesley
This time of year, it seems like we are surrounded by milestones to celebrate. One more year of school is coming to an end—they’re growing up so fast. Yes, I know, it’s trite but it’s true. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day remind us to celebrate with new moms and dads, even as we remember the ones we won’t see this year. One more summer means, in Beaufort, one more hurricane season…remembering past storms while hoping for the best for us this year. And it’s time for Annual Conference, a United Methodist milestone. Eric and I have an anniversary of sorts coming up in a few weeks…one terrific year here at Ann Street, and many more to come, God and the bishop willing.
Life does seem to just go right on…and then we remember the Old Homes Tour, and how we also celebrate our heritage in these milestones. As we get older, our roots grow deeper…by slow degrees, we grow, as children and parents, as Christians, as people.
As the milestones pass so quickly, it’s important for us to remember that the changes that seem to come so fast are necessary for growth…just like a careful pruning encourages a tree to grow, the changes that go on around us encourage us to grow in our faith and in love for God and one another. So let us try to see these milestones and changes as chances: chances to grow closer to Christ and one another…by slow degrees, becoming the people God has called us to be.
Life is unpredictable, change is inevitable, and growth is optional. Let’s choose to grow in the direction of grace!
Anne
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Whiplash
What a day! Great sermon, brilliant and insightful and biblically sound on the issue of how the church deals with homosexuality and sexual sin. Many people told me how much it meant to them on their way out of the church (back door folk who are faithful to their regular exit) but the crowd was slim at my door...hope that means they were trying to get to Eric to tell him how much they appreciated it. Also some folks who were angry or disagreed strongly, but I hope they will read the manuscript once it's posted, and give it another chance. Listening to some of that feedback, I suspect that their minds may have been made up a little too early due to the strong feelings so many have on the issue...but a close reading will I think clarify a lot of the dissent.
On to the not so great: it's not the heat, it's the humidity. No air conditioning and a tropical rainstorm and temps in the 80s. It's hot in my house, sticky even more so than hot, and if my hair has been dry for more than a few minutes today I don't know it. And now I have to change my plans for Wednesday (going to see Jamie the exceptional one) so that I can "supervise" the replacement of the AC unit...not that I'll know what's going on but someone has to be here to make sure it works and the cat's not locked in an unairconditioned house. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but Boo would make us pay.
I also talked to someone tonight who just really needs prayer. This person's dealing with stuff I can't help with, and the mantra, "refer, refer, refer," is not very satisfying. I know I can't help everyone, and I know that counseling is not my best thing (pretty high on the "worst" list, actually), but it's tempting to feel like if I could just live someone else's life for a while, I could make it better. Crap. I can barely handle my own life, there's no way I could live anyone else's. And I don't really want to...but saying, "you need to talk to someone" just feels like a cop-out. And that's really the best I have to offer...prayer and a referral.
I'm tired. And hot. And sticky. And cranky. It's been a cranky and sort of whiny week.
Never thought I'd look forward to a Monday...but, Scarlett, tomorrow is another day. Hope it's better than this one.
On to the not so great: it's not the heat, it's the humidity. No air conditioning and a tropical rainstorm and temps in the 80s. It's hot in my house, sticky even more so than hot, and if my hair has been dry for more than a few minutes today I don't know it. And now I have to change my plans for Wednesday (going to see Jamie the exceptional one) so that I can "supervise" the replacement of the AC unit...not that I'll know what's going on but someone has to be here to make sure it works and the cat's not locked in an unairconditioned house. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but Boo would make us pay.
I also talked to someone tonight who just really needs prayer. This person's dealing with stuff I can't help with, and the mantra, "refer, refer, refer," is not very satisfying. I know I can't help everyone, and I know that counseling is not my best thing (pretty high on the "worst" list, actually), but it's tempting to feel like if I could just live someone else's life for a while, I could make it better. Crap. I can barely handle my own life, there's no way I could live anyone else's. And I don't really want to...but saying, "you need to talk to someone" just feels like a cop-out. And that's really the best I have to offer...prayer and a referral.
I'm tired. And hot. And sticky. And cranky. It's been a cranky and sort of whiny week.
Never thought I'd look forward to a Monday...but, Scarlett, tomorrow is another day. Hope it's better than this one.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
A few of my favorite things
From my trip with Tonya to the Outer Banks...
Me and my (best friend's) shadow...
Mecca for transplants from VA, like me...no 7-11 in my part of the state.
I'm feeling sorry for myself today...my back hurts...but these are a few things that make me happy.
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