and a better one.
Still insanely busy with way too much going on. But I felt like I was on top of everything today. It was just one thing after another: knitting group, Bible study, YAH club (lunch program), funeral, and then a trip to the doc's office. I did it all though, and pretty well. I might have eaten too much supper, but it was good, so I don't care. And I came home and did a ton of work for my DMin project. All I really have to do is process one interview (it's not back yet) and write two summary posts that I've already begun to make notes on. This makes me so happy!
I have not made too much of a fuss about this here, but when I was diagnosed (finally) with insulin resistance in August, my life became considerably more stressful. This was also the same week I got accepted into the D.Min. program at Drew, so it makes sense that things would get a little hairy.
So anyway, what the insulin resistance means is basically that my body has a problem metabolizing sugars and starches. What this has meant for me is a lot of dietary changes and adding a new medication to my daily routine. It's also just been a lot to think about. Long term effect of insulin resistance are pretty hateful, like diabetes. I'm awful young for that. Plus, I'm phobic around needles. I don't mean I hate shots. I am panic-attack, weeping-and-gnashing of teeth, cannot-behave-like-a-grownup-when-needles-are-involved phobic. Take valium before blood draws phobic. So even though I know my fear is irrational, it's hugely important to me that I not have to test blood sugar or take daily insulin shots. A little bitter irony: when the drug I'm taking now stops working, the next one to try is an injectable. Yep, a needle.
So anyway, I've been working pretty hard these last 3 months. Not only has there been work, but also school, and now this. I'm still learning how to plan my meals, and some meals at church (most, if I'm honest) are pretty hard for me to manage. I find that I'm often not eating, or just eating a small part of the meal, and then going home or back to the office and eating something else to compensate. I'm struggling with getting my snacks in (I'm on a 5-6 meal regimen, or 3 meals and 2-3 snacks) and the way Ben and I eat out--way too much. I have to measure everything I eat, and evaluate it, and balance it, so that my metabolism can function properly.
It's a ton of work, and constant thought, but here's the end result: it's working. Now that I'm really getting proper nutrition for the way my body works, I have more energy (which is good, given all the other stuff that's been going on). I'm experiencing fewer cravings than I expected, which is great given that so many of my favorite things are now on the no-no list. And (cheesy though this sounds) I finally feel like I can actually make some right choices; before I was diagnosed, it literally made no difference what I ate...I could gain weight on anything. I gained weight on Weight Watchers, on eDiets, I had a toxic reaction to Atkins (you don't want to know). Now I understand that none of those systems could meet my nutritional needs due to the underlying metabolic issue.
Several people in the church have noticed that I'm losing a little weight. I've actually lost more than a little, and I'm looking forward to losing more. I'm not dieting, but when I am eating properly, and the medicine is helping me properly use what I'm eating, it all works together so that I do lose weight. In fact, the only way (without testing my blood sugar several times a day) to tell if it's working is if I lose weight. Pretty hand, if you ask me. And today I had a little milestone: 3 months on the new regimen, and I'm doing pretty well. I won't give a number, because I'm trying not to count...but it did make me happy today for someone else to do the math!
Yep, today's a better day.