Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Feeling a little disconnected

I'm feeling a little at sea, community-wise.
I'm connecting really well with my DMin cohort (we prefer cabal). The eight of us have figured out that we formed a unique and tight relationship in our online interactions long before we got here (we scare the other cohorts :) ).
But I've been away from home too long. I haven't spent time with Ben, or the WonderMutt or the spooky Boo cat for weeks (my too brief weekend home doesn't count). I miss the routine of my life at home, going to the office, eating lunch with Ben and Eric, being able to take a phone call whenever I want to.
I've been away from work too long. One of my deep and lasting anxieties as an associate pastor has always been that I don't know everything that's going on--and I don't need to. But before it was a simple matter to touch base with Eric and stay connected. There have been deaths and births and surgeries while I've been gone, and I haven't been able to participate in the pastoral care there. And that leaves me feeling disconnected from the church. I know I'll quickly get back into the swing of things, but I really miss it now.
I'm feeling separated from my family, as well. Mom's been calling me, always at an inconvenient moment, because she's used to hearing from me more often. I haven't had time! As my travel plans have changed (what made me think getting on the road at about the same time everyone gets on the road for the 4th of July holiday was a good idea) and continue to change, it's hard to get in touch with my sister and keep all that figured out. We're trying to figure out whether (instead of splitting the trip into thirds, my original plan) I do 2/3s of the trip on Friday or Saturday. And there's too much else to think about.
I think I'm reaching my stress threshold here. And there's only a few more days.
This intensive class session has become tiring, exhausting on a lot of levels, really fun and exciting, and pretty intense. I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I'm doing it.
I'll just be really glad to get home.

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