Lots going on

There's a lot happening in my world right now. I know, at any time in the last 2 years I could have said that, and it's true I've been busier than ever before since Ben's surgery. But the next week has a few challenges:
1: I'm working on an essay about home, in response to a contest at Virtual Tea House. I started it as a throwaway; I just wanted a break from reading. But it's turned out to be thought provoking. I'll post it here whenever I finish.
2: I'm reading--a lot--in preparation for my time at Drew this summer. 3 complete books and about 200 pages in other books. And that's just the prerequisite reading. My eyes may bleed by the time it's done. The eye doc told me last year that any time I spend reading or on the computer would make my vision even worse, but as long as they can make some kind of corrective lenses, I'm good.
3: I'm trying to get ready not only for 3 weeks at Drew but also Annual Conference, which of course starts the week before I go to Drew. I'll be away from home for almost 4 weeks, with one brief visit in the middle. I've never been away from Ben for more than a week...it will be interesting to see how this goes. And in hopes that I might come home to a reasonably orderly home, I'm trying to get everything "shipshape" before I go.
4: I'm driving to New Jersey. This seemed like a better idea 3 months ago, when I decided to do it. I will fly home for my one weekend visit, but this is turning out to be more of an expensive proposition than I planned. Gas cost a lot less when I started this, and so did airfare. And did I mention I'll have to fly back in October?
5: It's a busy spell at church (aren't they all?). Tomorrow, we have the Senior Luncheon (honoring high school grads), a funeral, youth group, worship team practice, and the evening service. The evening service is really the only thing for which I will do heavy lifting, but it's still a lot to do. And there's a lot happening this week as I prepare to be out of the office.
6: There are lots of random blogs I pop in on from time to time. Sometimes I follow a link from one to another to another and find someone I'm interested in. Today I read a post by one of those, and tried to respond in a non-churchy, non-preachy way to a conversation about spiritual issues. I'm not sure I was satisfied with my response; that's something else I want to write about and will post here if/when I get to it.
7: I won the (random) drawing at the poetry party! This is happy-making! It wasn't on merit, of course, but that's not why I play anyway. I play for fun, and to work on crafting phrases (rather than poems), and as another way to interact with a different group of people. I'll be excited to get my prize. Thanks, Christine!
So all that said, I'm tired, busy, and happy.
There's a lot going on but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Garage Sale Friday Five

Welcome to your irregularly scheduled Fifth Friday Five, hosted by will smama and Songbird!
Since will smama is preparing for a joint garage sale with her parents, and Songbird's church had a Yard and Plant Sale last Saturday, we have five enormously important questions we hope you will answer:

1) Are you a garage saler?

On occasion. I don't like to get up early enough on Saturday to go, but if I need something expensive and durable, I'll often sacrifice a little snoozin' to check out my options.

2) If so, are you an immediate buyer or a risk taker who comes back later when prices are lower?

I'm an immediate buyer. If it's what I want at a price I want to pay, it's mine. If not, then I have no hesitation at walking away.

3) Seriously, if you're not a garage saler, you are probably not going to want to play this one.
(That wasn't really #3.)
3) This is the real #3: What's the best treasure you've found at a yard or garage sale?

I can't think of anything. I'm not much of a browser, and I'm kinda task oriented when I'm looking at garage sales. Books, though, are always a great find. And on occasion there will be something I've "always wanted" but never enough to purchase. Usually those are the things that go right back into another yard sale or get donated to a thrift store. Turns out I only want some things when I don't have them. Who knew?

4)If you've done one yourself, at church or at home, was it worth the effort?

At church, usually. That's how we got our tv, and people tend to be generous. But it's not worth it at home, I'm I'm a big believer in Freecycle, Craig's List, eBay, and thrift store donations.

5) Can you bring yourself to haggle?

Nope. Don't like to bargain. I may offer one alternative price, but after that, I'm leaving.

Sometimes it's just what I need

and sometimes it just doesn't work out...
I had today pretty well mapped out in my head:
early meeting with local minister's group
catch up on email
meet with computer guy to see what can be done about the church's aging laptops
make a couple of phone calls
got to the coffee shop and read, read, read
UMM peanut-cooking and supper
council on ministries meeting
I have many books to read before this summer's class sessions. Many. I don't even have one of them, which is out of print, and causing me no little stress--I'm hoping it will come in on inter-library loan before annual conference. All I wanted was a little time to get some of this reading done. And I'm tired. I was kind of feeling like being more of a turtle than my usual social self.

So what really happened:
early meeting with local minister's group
catch up on email
meet with computer guy to see what can be done about the church's aging laptops (scrap 'em and start over)
make a couple of phone calls
(so far, so good...famous last words)
meet with an extraordinary young woman who is rebuilding a life for herself
research new laptops for the church (we may be forced to deal with Vista--bleah!)
go to lunch, with plans to head for the coffee shop
get a call that there's been an emergency
spend the afternoon with the family of someone who had died
get back to the office just in time to help a disabled vet get a scholarship to our Financial Peace University class (thanks, Mike M. & Dave Ramsey)
UMM peanut-cooking and supper
council on ministries meeting
phone calls about shuffling Sunday's events to accommodate the funeral

So no reading today. That's what I thought I really needed to do, and it does need to get done. I needed today to be an easy day so that I could get things done. But every now and then I'm just overtaken by a day that needs me, even more than I need it. Today was one of those days. I was where I needed to be...in the office, waiting on the computer guy to diagnose my laptop (it's okay) so I could leave and go read...so that I could be there to talk, when talking was needed. I was about a block away from the home when I got the emergency call so I could be there for a family.
On paper, one might think that my day had been wasted, because I was not productive in the way I had planned to be. On the other hand, I was in a position to offer the grace and presence of God to some folks who needed it, to offer some concrete help, to hold onto a hand and say, "I'm here if you need me."
I didn't do anything extraordinary today. I said, "I'm sorry," and "You're stronger than you know," and "I'm here," and "Let me see what I can do." Something extraordinary happened, though, in me, for sure, and I hope for others. Some days are just what I need, even (and perhaps especially) when they don't work out.

Time For a Puppy Poetry Party!

Christine at Abbey of the Arts shares this picture of her wonderful companion, Abbess Petunia, and this challenge:

my invitation to you for this week’s Poetry Party is to celebrate the gifts of being – what do you discover in those still spaces and holy pauses? Where are you invited to release the hold of doing and surrender to something much bigger?

Come on, come on, come on
beg limpid eyes and a streaming banner of a tail
run with me
play with me
be with me

Let's go, let's go, let's go
outside the fence, beyond the borders where we're free
live with me
dance with me
fly with me


Just be, just be, just be
flopped in the grass, panting and grinning, lord of all he sees
rest with me
watch with me
roll with me

Live now, live now, live now
be here, be present, be alive in this exact moment
no worries
no cares
no fears

Come on
Let's go
Just be
Live now

(Christine, as I write this at 10:15 on a gorgeous Memorial Day morning, my WonderMutt (whose name is Paraclete Duke, or Cletus) is still in my bed, giving himself over to rest. I think I could learn a lot from him!)

Vacation Thought Friday Five

Sally offers:
It is a holiday weekend here in the UK, and the weather forecast for much of the country is not good!!! But we can still dream and so with that in mind I bring you this Friday Five.

1. Getting ready for summer, do you use the gradual tanning moisturisers ( yes gentlemen you too can answer this!!!), or are you happy to show your winter skin to the world?

I don't tan. I could do, used to tan very well as a child, but I just don't spend the time on it. And I'm allergic to so much, I've never even tried a tanning lotion. My skin is what it is, and it's usually SPF'd.

2.Beach, mountains or chilling by the pool, what/ where is your favourite getaway?

The beach is always my preference, especially when it's not summer. Since we live at the coast, I can always find water to make me happy. Ben prefers the mountains, and they are very close and satisfactory second.

3.Are you a summer lover or does the long break become wearing?

There's no long break for me; our church is busy and this summer I'm going to NJ for 3 weeks of classes. I prefer spring and fall, though, even winter, really, to summer. I don't like to be too hot.

4.Active holidays; hiking swimming sailing, or lazy days?

Lazy, mostly. I like to play tourist, but walking around a historic site or museum (or a little shopping, if I'm somewhere good for that) is all the exercise I want on a vacation.

5.Now to the important subject of food, if you are abroad do you try the local cuisine, or do you prefer to play it safe?

Definitely local food, unless it's something I completely can't identify. I have this issue with food textures, and I don't like to be surprised by what's in my food. Surprised by flavor, good. Suprised by texture, disastrous.

No bonus this week unless you can think one up!!!

My bonus is that I've run away from home to spend a night with my mom, my sister, and my fabulous niece. She's being put to bed, hence time for a late Friday Five.

More movies...

You'd think I have time to waste since we're watching movies again. It's really just a fresh crop of Netflix.
Tonight I watched half of "Transformers," an interesting juxtaposition with "Terminator," which Ben watched last night, while now that Ben's home, we're watching "The Great Debaters." "Write your own dictionary, and mark this as a new beginning."
Unfortunately, the real reason we're watching movies is because I'm too tired to be doing the reading I'm meant to be doing, or the laundry that needs doing, or even writing a more coherent blog post (although this is an improvement over last night's). The truth is that the more tired I get, the shorter my attention span becomes. So I'm simultaneously listening to and watching the movie, wondering about what's going to happen next in both the "Transformers" movie I stopped (Ben doesn't want to see it) and the novel I'm reading ("A Clash of Kings" from the Songs of Ice and Fire series by George R. R. Martin, an exercise in futility as the series has not been completed yet, but they're good stories), and writing run-on sentences.
This difficulty carries over into work: I use the expectations I have from others (i.e., the man will be here in the morning to work on the computers) and structure the rest of my day around that...and when that expectation collapses (the man calls to say he won't be able to come), then it takes me a while to regroup.
Did I mention I also have a tendency to ramble when I'm tired?
It's that quote I keep coming back to:

"Write your own dictionary, and mark this as a new beginning."

I would not presume that my experiences as a white female clergyperson have any connection to the experience of the people depicted in the movie. That's not at all what I'm trying to say. But instead I think that it is an expression of where many people find ourselves in our culture. We don't have a fixed dictionary. The internet and other mass media have blurred the lines of what used to be expected of us; many of us either have either rejected the compass our parents would have given us or did not receive one to begin with. The vocabulary we grew up with is not fixed: Atari was cutting edge, flash drives were unheard of, the notion of a public rather than a private diary was a conceit. New language is being invented at an unprecedented pace, and the boundaries between languages and cultures are becoming less and less firm.
We have a real problem with the language of God and church. Christians are suffering from adverse connotations--the language of our faith does not have universal meaning. Where I say God, another may hear Allah or goddess or gods, or simply noise. Where I might talk about faith, another may hear irrationality or dogmatism. Even one of the evaluative tools commonly used to help us "discern" our call to ministry (there's a bunch of loaded language), the MMPI or Minnesota Multi-phasic Personality Inventory, has a bias toward understanding religious faith as mental illness, because we believe we are guided by the Holy Spirit, by an external force. We believe that we might in some way hear from God, and that looks on the test like schizophrenia. And where I affirm the essential goodness of God, so many see a distant, absent, or uncaring God, or none at all. And in the face of earthquake, cyclone, genocide, a struggling economy, and more struggle and strife than I know about, I have to find new and different language, common ground, reclaimed operational definitions to communicate the goodness, the grace, that I know to be true about my God and my faith. So it is perhaps time for us to write a new dictionary. Perhaps it is time for a new beginning for those of us who follow Christ. Perhaps we can claim a language that is both our own and easily communicated, tell our stories in ways that invite others in and do not exclude.
At least, I hope so.

Random Blogthings

I must be bored...Ben's watching a movie, and I'm playing with Blogthings. Here are some of my results:

You Are: 50% Dog, 50% Cat

You are a nice blend of cat and dog. You're playful but not too needy. And you're friendly but careful. And while you have your moody moments, you're too happy to stay upset for long.

Are You More Cat or Dog?

I think this means I can't commit.

Your Thinking is Concrete and Random

You are naturally inquisitive and curious. You're excited by new ideas, and you are a true independent thinker. You are interested in what is possible. You like the process of discovery. You are often experimenting, challenging old ideas, and inventing new concepts. Rules, restrictions, and limit don't really work for you. You have to do things your own way, and you can't be bothered to explain yourself.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

Huh?

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person. However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways. You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order. You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

Cautious and reserved? Have they met me?

You Are a Warrior Soul

You're a strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating. You don't give up. You're committed and brave. Truly adventuresome, you are not afraid of going to battle. Extremely protective of loved ones, you root for the underdog. You are picky about details and rigorous in your methods. You also value honesty and fairness a great deal. You can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding. You're a hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Hmmm...

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. In love, you are very protective and supporting. However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous. At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

What's Your Personality Type?

I test as an ENFP, usually...

Don't tell PETA

I just watched Big Brown run away with the Preakness.
Amazing.
I've always loved horses--my grandfather raised and showed Tennessee walking horses--and I've rarely been grieved about how racehorses are treated, apart from the scandals we hear about from time to time. And I love to watch them race: the play of muscles under their coats, the grace of those huge bodies on those long slender legs, the partnership of horse and jockey.
That's some horse. He's still fresh, after opening up a huge lead in the last quarter mile. He's frisking a bit when he's supposed to be cooling down and headed for the Winner's Circle. Gorgeous.
Don't tell PETA I like to watch the races--I know they don't approve. Forget that these horses are born to run. Forget that some horses are naturally competitive and will race one another in a paddock just for the heck of it. Forget that this horse is well cared for, and has a great trainer who watches him carefully for the stress injuries he's prone to. They're just so beautiful. And Big Brown's going a long way to wipe away the horror of the freak accidents that claimed Barbaro and Eight Belles. Good for him.
Here are pics of Gramps with 2 of his horses, and another of the Banks ponies.

Grand Tour Friday Five

1) Favorite Destination -- someplace you've visited once or often and would gladly go again

I'd go back to Germany in a heartbeat, mostly because my friend Tonya is there. But Ben and I also love the mountains. I loved staying near Lake Lure, but we also love the Asheville and Boone areas. I need big water from time to time, but since my mom lives in Virginia Beach and we live here at the coast, that's a need easily satisfied.

2) Unfavorite Destination -- someplace you wish you had never been (and why)

If I were not a nice person, I could answer this one. But if you were to guess that it had something to do with an unpleasant family visit, you wouldn't be far wrong.

3) Fantasy Destination -- someplace to visit if cost and/or time did not matter

I'd like to do a grand tour of Europe, and visit some of the Celtic monastic sites, as well as Taize. And shop and sightsee, of course!

4) Fictional Destination -- someplace from a book or movie or other art or media form you would love to visit, although it exists only in imagination

Hmmm...the Last Homely House, the elves' (and Frodo and Bilbo's) destination at the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings. Or a stedding (from Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series). Or Narnia, during the reign of Susan, Peter, Edmund, and Lucy. The place where the night sky really looked as Van Gogh imagined.

5) Funny Destination -- the funniest place name you've ever visited or want to visit

Intercourse PA is sort of obvious, so I won't mention it. I'm fond of Whynot, NC, near Seagrove (which has groves of trees, but no sea)--and I'm always glad to go back there; that's the area where I collect pottery.

Another "Pome"--It's Poetry Party Time!

Christine at Abbey of the Arts has a new Poetry Party, and I'm only a couple of days late. Here's the image:

I confess I'm not much of a grown-up. I can hear Eddie Murphy's voice in my head (he voiced the donkey in the "Shrek" movies) and I keep thinking about puns using the a-word for donkeys. I'm going to make a real effort to grow up.

She's not an ugly duckling,
not exactly.
Knobby knees and short grey fur,
tall, with big ears and a braying laugh--
She just doesn't (quite) seem to fit in with the sheep.

She's not a misfit,
not exactly.
Long legs for speed, relatively speaking,
a big body and bigger voice,
She doesn't fit, she leads.

An ungainly gift,
a reminder that we don't always see with perfect clarity.
And where we wonder, we can grow.
I wonder what she thinks
about living with all those sheep?

Cheating?

So here's the deal. A local Baptist church has a somewhat contentious history, with a significant split in fairly recent memory (about 30 years ago). At present, they have an aging building in the historic district and a congregation that's been shrinking over the last several months. A couple of weeks ago, the pastor cast a vision for the church to move from the present location and build somewhere else, nearer the areas of new development in the county. He sent out a letter asking them to really seek God's will about the future of the church.
His letter met with a mixed response from the deacons, and there will be a church vote next week. Unsurprisingly, their conflict is the talk of the town. Last week in Bible study, we talked about this briefly in the context of our study of the book of Acts and the struggles of the fledgling church. I asked our members to consider praying themselves for the other church rather than participate in the rumors about town.
So here's my reward for this good deed: Saturday afternoon, in the cemetery, following a funeral, a member of the Baptist church came up to me to basically accuse his pastor of asking me to ask my folks to pray for the church. I said, no, it was all my initiative and told him what happened in Bible study. What I don't understand is what would have been wrong with us praying for them? We didn't take a position on the issue, but were merely praying that God would make himself known in the conflict.
I still don't quite know what the man was so mad about.
Maybe he thought his pastor was cheating by soliciting "outside" prayers?

Lost weekend

This has been very nearly the least productive weekend ever!
Friday, I left work to run home and pick up something (a Belk's coupon, in the event shopping were to fit into my afternoon plans), and it hit: a migraine. I have nice polite migraines that announce themselves well ahead of time with auras (visual symptoms), numbness in my hand and face, and a new symptom--vomiting (yay--not!). So I had time to get to the Imitrex before the pain hit, but the first dose didn't cut it. I basically slept all Friday evening and into Saturday morning.
Saturday, we had a funeral, and I really wanted to be there, and I felt better, honest. But as I left the church to try to make the visits I missed Friday, the headache which had been lurking all day came back out to play. More drugs, more sleep. I have got all the way through today, so perhaps that will be the end of it. They've come in clusters before, and I'd really prefer to avoid that, but there's just so much Imitrex one can take...and I'm not far off from the max.
Today was okay, though...if it's possible, my head is sore. Nothing like the pain I had before--about a .5 on a scale of 1-10 at the moment. It's ignorable...but I'd still like it to go away.

Pentecost Friday Five

From Presbyterian Gal:

FOR PENTECOST THIS WEEKEND:
FROM ACTS CHAPTER 2: 14 Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: "Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. 15 These men are not drunk, as you suppose. It's only nine in the morning! 16 No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel:17 " 'In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. 18 Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. 19 I will show wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth below, blood and fire and billows of smoke. 20 The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord. 21 And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'
(My personal favorite in this passage is how Peter insists the men cannot be drunk because it's only 9:00 a.m.)

Anyway, it's Pentecost and my very first Friday Five! Thinking about all the gifts of the spirit and what Peter said of the "last days"......

Have you or anyone you know
1. ...ever experienced a prophesy (vision or dream) that came true?
When I was in 3rd grade in a new school, I dreamed my glasses would break on the first day, and they did. I have had a couple of dreams like that but never since high school or so. Just as well, because I have a recurring dream about tornadoes that I've had for most of my life. Would prefer that one not come true.

2. ...dreamed of a stranger, then actually met them later?
Nope.

3. ...seen a wonder in heaven? (including UFO's)
The Perseid meteor shower from a rooftop in Mexico--beautiful, and so clear. No light pollution where we were. And Halley's comet.

4. ...seen a "sign" on the earth?
I'm fond of this one:


5. ...experienced knowledge of another language without ever having studied it?
No, but learning Spanish for me was almost like remembering it. It seemed to come pretty naturally. One of my regrets is that I'm no longer fluent.

Bonus Question: What would a modern day news coverage of the first Pentecost have sounded like?
Multilingual, of course!

Slacker...that's me.

I have done nearly nothing productive today.
I did go to an SPRC meeting on my day off (happens).
I slept. A lot. Including an extended dozing session in my recliner.
Not a bad day, just not a day for doing stuff.

Thought for the day...

I've been crafting tonight, and I worked on 2 different kinds of book as a birthday gift for my sister. As I was looking for quotes to embellish one of them, I came across this by Pearl S. Buck:

I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up.

I'm still trying to decide how I feel about it. Part of me shouts an exuberant YES, and that certainly resonates with the part of me that's exploring my own creativity. I've got projects again, after several years of putting them off, and I'm learning to own them as an important part of who I am rather than seeing those desires as an imposition on my time. And they are mostly a solitary pursuit, which I am finding strangely fulfilling.
On the other hand, how sad that she couldn't find renewal in company. As an extrovert, I definitely get energy from being with others. And while I have certainly had epiphanies and spiritual moments in private, I find that it helps me to find "Jesus with skin on" from time to time to mediate between the chaos in my head and the voice of the Spirit.
I may have to sleep on this...

What Are You Looking For? Sermon for Ascension/Easter 7

Texts:
Acts 1:6-11
John 17:1-11
I don’t know if my experience is universal, but I expect most of the women in this sanctuary are about to smile knowingly. At my house, I am the designated finder of lost things. “Honey, I can’t find my keys!” Ben will shout from the living room. And I can apparently see through things: “Did you look on your dresser?” “Yes. They’re not there…oh, wait…yes, they are. They were under a handkerchief.” I am omniscient, as far as Ben and misplaced items go. “Do you know where my wallet is?” is another favorite question. It’s usually in the car. I’m not quite so good (yet) that I can walk in to a room, see him looking a little confused, and simply tell him where to find whatever he’s missing, but it’s only been eight and a half years. I’m sure as we grow older, my skills will only improve.
The key to my success is not that I have some super power. It’s not that I can see through walls (or stray hankies) or that I can read Ben’s mind to find out where he left his toys. It’s a combination of 2 things: one, I know him very well and I know his habits, and two, when I’m looking for something, I really look. I look around where I think it might be. I move stuff: sofa cushions and pieces of junk mail. I look in unconventional places, because I figure if whatever I’m trying to find isn’t in one of the usual places, I must have put it somewhere else. The key to my success is that I look in many places. I don’t just look for the keys and wallet by the front door or the glasses by the bedside table, I look all over. I look back and we trace our steps, I look up, I look down, I look all around (and especially under) until I found the lost thing (or I give up, which sometimes happens).
In the Acts reading for today, the disciples are in a holding pattern. Despite all the experiences of the previous several weeks, despite the crucifixion, the empty tomb, not one but two visits by a resurrected Jesus into a locked room, despite breakfast by the Sea of Galilee and supper on the road to Emmaus…despite all this, they are still not moving. Jesus has promised the Holy Spirit and given them their marching orders, “to be witnesses to the ends of the earth,” and they still are not moving. They are lost…they need to get moving…but they don’t know what they’re looking for. And they are just about out of time.
If they were looking for Jesus to keep telling them what to do, to remind them of God’s love and their call to teach others, to forgive sin, and to make more disciples, then this is their last shot. The story Luke is telling us in Acts today is the story of Jesus’ last appearance on earth, the story of the Ascension, when Jesus returned to heaven, and left the disciples to figure it out on their own. This is a defining moment in Jesus’ ministry, the last earthly moment of his physical presence…and then he was gone. There was nothing left to do (apparently) but to stand there, where Jesus left them, and stare up at the sky. Until, that is, some guys in white robes came by to ask: what are you looking up there for?
And isn’t that just the story of our lives? We wait. We wait to be old enough to do what we want to do: drive. Get married. Get a real job, whatever that is. Start a family. We wait until the time is right to go on vacation, to buy a new home, to change careers. We wait to go on that mission trip, to start the new ministry, to do the thing we think God might maybe be calling us to do. We wait, and we wait. We look up to heaven, and we hope for a sign. And sometimes, when we’re really having a good day, when we’re really listening and feeling pretty confident, we stop looking for another sign, stop dragging our feet, and realize that instead of looking around, we should be looking ahead. Instead of looking up to heaven for a sign, we should be looking at all the ways God has spoken to us, moved us, motivated us in the past. And we should move forward.
Are you scared yet? I think the disciples were. After all they’d seen in the past weeks, after the Garden, and Golgotha, and the upper room, and the sea, I think when Jesus left, they felt they had been left behind. They wanted him to overturn the rule of Rome and reinstate Israel as the chosen people of God. They wanted him to right all wrongs and to at last be the warrior King they believed would come even though, somewhere in their hearts they knew better. And his reply could hardly have been satisfying: “That’s not for you to know, but you know what to do.”
We do???
We do. Not perfectly, but at least in part, at least some of the time, and by the grace of God we have occasional flashes of brilliance and clarity. And in his great love for us, Jesus left us his prayer for the disciples from John 17:
‘Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son so that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all people, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. I glorified you on earth by finishing the work that you gave me to do. So now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had in your presence before the world existed.
‘I have made your name known to those whom you gave me from the world. They were yours, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. Now they know that everything you have given me is from you; for the words that you gave to me I have given to them, and they have received them and know in truth that I came from you; and they have believed that you sent me. I am asking on their behalf; I am not asking on behalf of the world, but on behalf of those whom you gave me, because they are yours. All mine are yours, and yours are mine; and I have been glorified in them. And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one.”
Next week, we will celebrate the Pentecost, and an end to waiting, but for now here we are: Jesus’ disciples, waiting for a sign, a word, the nerve, the will, the strength to act. What are we looking for? Even better, where are we looking?
We do look up, to heaven, in our prayers and as we worship. And this is good, a right and righteous thing for us to do. We look to Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith. We live in the presence and power of the Holy Spirit, the living breath of God in us. We look up, to remind ourselves that we are not alone, but that God is always with us. But looking up is not all we are called to do.
We also look back: we look back to our past, to the mistakes we learn from and the places where we now, in hindsight, find God alive and working in our lives. We look back to the stories of the people of God, and find strength in their struggles and successes. We can look back and wallow in failure, but that is not our calling. Instead, as the people of God, we are to look on the past as the foundation for our faith: the faith of the patriarchs and matriarchs, of Abraham and Sarah, Moses and Miriam, Deborah and David, of Peter, Paul, and the Marys (sorry, couldn’t resist), of John Wesley and Mother Theresa and Dorothy Day, of Sarah Williams and Tommy Piner, George Lewis and Anna Lou Haskins—you know the names in your life—and all those who write their own part of our faith story. We look to the past, and find our strength and find that there we can stand.
And then we look forward: to the vision of the Kingdom of God and Jesus’ coming to bring it into our reality here on earth. We look forward to his coming again, and know that in the meantime, the between time, we have work to do. We look forward, and we hear God calling us: to love, to forgiveness, to grace and mercy, to justice and peace, to feeding the hungry and companionship to the lonely, healing to the sick and compassion to all who are in need of it—and aren’t we all in need? We look forward, and the question comes again: what, Lord? And how?
Here’s where the disciples got stuck, and it’s an easy enough place for us to get stuck too. Here’s where we could stay, and sit in our pews, and listen to sermons about kindness and mercy. Here’s where we could get comfortable, knowing that all those whom Christ has called us to love and serve are “out there” somewhere, not where we can get to them easily, and that missionaries and church programs will do that for us. We can plan, and program, and we could just sit here, looking up, looking back, looking forward, and perhaps wholly missing Jesus’ point, the point of his life, death, and resurrection. What are we looking for? We look up to God, and back to our roots, and forward to our faith…where else should we look?
We look around us. Look now to your right and your left, to the folks you greeted earlier in this service, and perhaps the ones you didn’t. Among the endless gifts of God in our lives are the love of God, the sacrifice of Christ, the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, the stories of our spiritual parents who have gone on before us, and time and a world yet to serve. As we look up, back, and forward, we sense God drawing us into relationship, friendship, even kinship with us…but it’s not just about me and God. It’s not just about you and God.
Like the disciples, as we look for answers to the question, “what now? And who? And how?” we can look around us for answers. On that day of Jesus’ Ascension, the world changed, and Christ’s human body passed away for a time, but his Incarnation lives on. When Jesus took on human form, was incarnated as one of us, it was a singular event…but the Ascension isn’t the end of the Incarnation. To use the vernacular, the Incarnation wasn’t a one-off…instead it is a continuing act of life and love and hope and faith when we, his people, who are called by his name, look around us and see both the living presence of Jesus in the world, and work yet to be done.
Perhaps the question for the disciples, and for us, as we remember the Ascension, is not what are we looking for, but instead, what is God looking for in us? Our obedience? Certainly. Our faithfulness? Without doubt. Our love, kindness, and caring for others? To be sure. And I believe that God is looking for us to wait, when it is appropriate to wait, to watch and pray, but that God looks for us too to act, to look around and see the needs in our world and in our community and in our homes, and to finally act, with the love of God and the prayers of Jesus and the life of the Holy Spirit with us.
Now that Jesus’ flesh is gone from us, I believe that we are to be God’s love in the flesh. Barbara Brown Taylor says about the Ascension: “With nothing but a promise and a prayer, those eleven disciples consented to be the church, and nothing was ever the same again. The followers became leaders, the listeners became preachers, the converts became missionaries, the healed became healers, and the disciples became apostles, witnesses to the Risen Christ…and so, they stopped looking up toward heaven, and looked at each other instead. And then they got on with the business of being a church.”
This week, our United Methodist General Conference met to do the work of being a church, and made a change to our mission statement as it is contained in our Book of Discipline: our mission is now “to make disciples for Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.” This is the point of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, God’s plan for God’s people: that the world might in the end be transformed, become the Kingdom of God here and now, a world and a time and a people who look not just back to the past, not just for a word from heaven that we cannot ignore, not just to a future when God’s life and love reign, but looking around us to find not only those whom we can reach out to in help, but also those who reach out to us.
What are you looking for? The answer is all around you.
What is God looking for? That answer is around us too.
What are you waiting for? Now, there’s a real question.
There is a very old legend, and all legends that persist speak truth, concerning the return of the Lord Jesus Christ to heaven after His Ascension.
It is said that the angel Gabriel met Him at the gates of the city.
‘Lord, this is a great salvation that Thou hast wrought,’ said the angel.
But the Lord Jesus only said, ‘Yes.’
‘What plans hast Thou made for carrying on the work? How are all men to know what Thou hast done?’ asked Gabriel.
‘I left Peter and James and John and Martha and Mary to tell their friends, and their friends to tell their friends, till all the world should know.’
‘But, Lord Jesus,’ said Gabriel, ‘suppose Peter is too busy with his nets, or Martha with her housework, or the friends they tell are too occupied, and forget to tell their friends – what then?’
The Lord Jesus did not answer at once; then He said in His quiet, wonderful voice: ‘I have not made any other plans. I am counting on them.’

The thing I made

I posted here about the stole (yes, that's what it was) I made last week, and now I've given it away, so I can tell you about it. I made it to see if I could, and since I knew someone who needed a new one, I gave it to Eric.

For more pictures, look here.

Wait and Pray Friday Five

Sally says:

Part of the Ascension Day Scripture from Acts 11 contains this promise from Jesus;

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Then he was taken from their sight into the clouds, two angels appeared and instructed the probably bewildered disciples to go back to Jerusalem, where they began to wait and to pray for the gift Jesus had promised.

Prayer is a joy to some of us, and a chore to others, waiting likewise can be filled with anticipation or anxiety....

So how do you wait and pray?

1. How do you pray best, alone or with others?

Sometimes alone, sometimes with others. I like to pray with others to help keep me focused. I like to pray alone when I'm struggling with something personal, or so no one can make fun of me singing--sometimes I sing when I'm praying.

2. Do you enjoy the discipline of waiting, is it a time of anticipation or anxiety?

Mostly anxiety--I'm a control freak at heart. Waiting in uncertainty drives me nuts, or to be spiritual about it, I find it an important exercise in patience and faith. :)

3. Is there a time when you have waited upon God for a specific promise?

The occasionally brutal 3 years between college and seminary, when I was really trying to do what I wanted to do, and slowly discerning a call to ministry I didn't really want. I didn't want the promise God had, I wanted the one I wanted. Eventually (God was a lot more patient) I gave in, and I've been much happier ever since, but it was hard waiting.

4. Do you prefer stillness or action?

Action, almost always (control freak, remember?), but some of the most fruitful prayer times I have had have been in stillness and silence.

5. If ( and this is slightly tongue in cheek) you were promised one gift spiritual or otherwise what would you choose to recieve?

Not patience, patience comes through trials. I don't know...my brief stint in a Pentecostal church comes to mind, and it's waking up my inner snark. Perhaps grace? That is the meaning of my name (Anne), and I've never sensed that I was particularly graceful. Certainly not physically, anyway--I'm clumsy!

Just a little stressful

Yesterday, the owner of the real estate agency that manages the house we're renting called to ask if I wanted to buy the house. The owner was putting it on the market, and he wanted to know if we wanted the first shot at it.
Frankly, no, not even close. The house is in bad shape, not irreparably so, but the owner doesn't want to put any money into it. It's damp, the foundation is settling unevenly, there's persistent leaking in the master bath that has resisted fixing, and so on. But it's home to us, and I am not ready to move. Not even a little. I just put in my garden yesterday! Knowing it's temporary, for however long the Cabinet in its wisdom will leave us here, we can put up with the problems.
So today, we went to talk with the rental manager, who is a lovely woman. Apparently the other folks at the agency call her the Terminator, and I'm glad she was on our side. She called the homeowner, told him we were going to move rather than face the uncertainty of finding a new home when this one sells...and he backed down. Not only did he agree to let us sign a new 12 month lease, but he also took the house off the market rather than risk having it stand empty (and losing the rental income). Yay for us! Not only do I not have to move, but I also don't have to worry about showing the house.
If I'm honest about it, there are several nice properties available right now, which is a major change from when we moved here. Then there was only this house, and we were acquainted with most of its flaws before we moved in. We had options, if we were to have to move...but I'd much prefer to stay where I am. To craft & sew and write and study and work here. My dog is happy here. And soon there will be tomatoes and peppers and squash and flowers in the garden. And life is good again...after a stressful 24 hours.

Okay, this one made me laugh:

Wilford Brimley cat:

see more crazy cat pics